"ideal spouse"

I don't really have a model for my ideal spouse.  The thing is, I'm not sure what I want yet, and I might not even ever know what I want (besides, of course, a male).

But really, I think every guy is kind and loving (even if he may not look it), so I don't need to write about that.  Every one is understanding in a sense, some just need a little warming up to crack open their shells, and nobody thinks of themselves as not understanding.  Every one thinks of themselves as smart, and every one really is smart, just smart with different things.  You could go to Harvard and yet be the most socially inept person in the world, that's just a way God is fair.

I don't want the guy I end up with to fit the mold of "ideal".  I want him to surprise me, initially and throughout the rest of my relationship; I guess Mr. Lee would call this kind of person a "round character", filled with tragic flaws and pet peeves.  If my spouse was perfect, I'd end up getting frustrated with myself a lot.  We'd need to be an equal amount of imperfect, I think.  

Now I know I said I wasn't sure about what I wanted in the perfect guy, but I know exactly what I want him to look like on the outside.  I definitely love dark shaggy hair and big, tired eyes.  Scruff is definitely welcomed.  Definitely tall, I love tall guys.  And lean - not skinnier than me, but with a little muscle going on.  Also, men wearing jeans are definitely hotter than men not wearing jeans (especially men who wear khaki shorts).

To be honest, I wouldn't mind being with the man I'm with now for a while.  He definitely makes everyday interesting and spontaneous, and for whatever reason, he always has some way of making me smile or making me feel at ease.  He makes me feel peaceful and happy and content and loved, and makes me come out of my shell, holed up in my house.  He's even taller than me!  But if we're meant to be, it's going to take a lot of pushing by the Fates; I'm moving overseas to the States and he's still going to be stuck on the rock for another year.  We both feel as though a long distance relationship would be impossible and frustrating, so we're avoiding it.  I'm going to miss our lazy Saturday afternoons together and the way is hugs are somehow so inviting.  It's definitely going to be hell going to a restaurant and looking at San Pellegrino on the menu.

Prom night

I guess senior prom is something every girl fantasizes about. 

But once it's here, it's not nearly as chalked up as it should be.  The boys are by no means Prince Charmings, the venue does not even remotely resemble Cinderella's castle, and the after party, the thing you've been looking forward to the most, ends up being just a normal night bumming around, and at some point, passing out uncomfortably in your car.

Even though our Prance lacked a little - what do you call it... sparkle? - it was something I definitely won't be forgetting.  Actually, come to think of it, the actual Prance is really all just a blur to me.  It was the adventure that happened afterwards that was a whirlwind of moments.  Walking barefoot through the parking lot of Coral Ocean Point at midnight, messing with my hairpiece at 1, ordering pancakes at Shirley's at 2, knocking hopelessly on my door at 3, sweating in the car, trying to get a little sleep, at 4 in the morning.  But I think what really makes the night isn't what you do necessarily, it's who you're with.  For a lot of people, this means a big group, going around and making noise, but as for me, I prefer doing things with just one person who means a lot to me.  It's a shame our relationship is a ticking time bomb, counting down until the day I leave on that plane, but I digress.  That's not what this blog is about.

The theme this year was "Midnight in Paris".  I had the lovely task of leading the minutemen that made up the Prance Committee, saving STUCO from their sinking ship.  I had barely an hour or so to get ready, I didn't quite get the princess treatment (my sister, a year younger than me, was pampered more for the prom than I, a senior was).  And yet somehow... I felt more beautiful than I had ever felt at any other prom (which is a thing I must also lament, as all the pictures that were taken before Prance ended up being blurry).  The thing is, I don't think it was the make-up or the synthetic hair that made me feel beautiful, it was just everything about the night!  It was the final prom night, and I was so ready for it.  I'm giddy with excitement over graduation, despite the endless amount of paperwork from the "pacifist" Mr. Lee.  I think the only thing more beautiful than my Prance dress is going to be my graduation gown, and, well, maybe my wedding dress.

I'm never going to forget the people that were with me on that dance floor at Charley's; no matter where we are or what challenges we will face, and no matter how many hundreds of miles away we are from each other, we know we'll always have each other's backs.  And maybe, someday sooner than we think, we'll all find ourselves bumming around with each other once again.

I love these people.

motto rhymes with tomato

"Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase!  Hakuna Matata, ain't no passing craaaaaaze!"

It means no worries! For the rest of your days!

That was the motto that marked a turning point in one of my favorite movies, the Lion King.  Besides that, there are thousands upon thousands of other mottos out there.  But if I had one motto to describe my own life, I guess it would be "You can't win the lottery without buying a ticket."

Sure, it's a quote from Bakuman, my favorite manga, and it's probably been ripped off of something before it got into the manga, but I don't care.  It rings so true in so many different ways.  For example, you don't know if you can get, say, a job until you try out for it.  It's kind of like Schroedinger's cat theory - the cat is both alive and dead in the box until you open it and find out.  All opportunities that you will come across in the world are open and an infinite amount of possibilities and outcomes all exist at once, I believe.

I guess the motto is kind of a self-motivational thing for me as well.  In the past, I used to really dislike change, and sometime when I was in high school, I just snapped and realized there was so much to this world that I was missing out on.  Now, I think I'm different than the person that was so hesitant to change; I try out new vegetables (not that exciting, I know), I take charge of more things, and I try to go out on as many adventures as I can go on.  I think I've said it a million times in other blogs, but my favorite thing to do is travel.  And what's travel without trying new things?  You never know where the adventure could take you until you make your move.

And to all of you jerks out there that say the lottery is a waste of time and money, maybe you're right!  Maybe the odds really do suck!  But hey, there are ODDS!  Live a little and take risks - don't live out your life in a little shell (i.e. never leaving your house).  When I'm in college, I hope I'll be able to carry out this motto and take it wherever I go.

Me winning the freaking lottery, baby